Muslims

As you may have gathered there are some of us who dont embrace religion and gods as easily as some you do.  And although we have a large group of people that think that America is a Christian nation, this is absolutely false.  America is a secular nation, a nation of law.  Yes you will see many a politician holding on to a bible, or going to church, or a football player praying .... but even so, as a whole we are a secular nation and we will be ruled by no kings, no gods, no titles.

We worship yes, openly, we worship life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  We worship freedom of speech, freedom of the press, the right to keep and bear arms.  Our President was made in Chicago, a city known to the world for organized crime.  Al Capone's pistol just sold for over a million and a half dollars, and it is a very old pistol.  This one idea is so essential to Americana that most people will not become president unless they hunt and shoot for sport.  Some areas of our country still have shoot-outs every day.  

We do not concern ourselves with Muslims as a whole, but some of you have been granted the privilege of living in a country where you can read your Koran, you can worship.  So we are a very tolerant and open society.

However we are a stickler for fairness, for the idea that all must pay their way, and that all who come here and take our secular communion become like us.  We are outraged that you come here and want your driver license picture with your face covered ..... this is unAmerican.  If you chose not to show your face because of religion or because you play second fiddle to men that is not our concern, but our laws, our regulations, our rules, are not subordinate to your thinking, your feelings, your Koran, your god, your religious leaders.  So if you dont want to show your face stay in your own country .... Im sure you have many men there that will be glad to treat you like a second class citizen, like property, and share your passion for the burka.

We do think that you are savages and that your actions at our embassy are evidence of that.  That you strip our embassy personnel, that you beat them, kill them, hang their bodies, because somebody, somewhere made a movie.  That is unacceptable and I would suggest that you sleep with one eye open.

And dont think that we hold you in high esteem simply because you have managed to acquire gold and jewels or because you have established a friendship with a Bush.  We are biting our time.  And no amount of oil will keep you in our good graces, oil is not something Americans need from you, regardless of what Exxon and BP have told you.  

We dont think it friendly and we consider it darn right offensive for you to come to America and send your children to a Madrassa.  We consider this an act of war.  Going to a madrassa, not saying the pledge of allegance, not forsaking all but the USA should be enough to deny you citizenship, and to insure your deportation.

And beyond this, if Americans have to pay a tax for healthcare that means if you are a Muslim and live here, you are obligated to do so.  If you refuse on the grounds of religion ..... then rest assured that living here will not be a party and dont expect protection from this or any administration.

And there is no reason why we have to make a place for you to worship at our airports.  You can carry your carpet, wash your feet and play your tape in the lobby like  everybody else.  We owe you nothing, you are free to go, or you are free to stay .... but dont ask for protection, where there is none.

We are a secular society, no kings, no gods, no titles, no bibles or holy books.  And should you wish to speak with us, you need to wear the national dress; jeans, boots, or shorts and sanddles, camels are unacceptable, but a good bottle of beer will get you in the door, two bottles will start a conversation, a case will make you a celebrity, and a keg will baptise you.  A joint may also make you welcomed but take care, once a pot-head, always a pot-head.  

The only other way to join is to wear sneakers and carry a basketball, football, baseball, bat and glove.  This will increase your chances of getting laid.