Mitt Romney

The problem with MR is that he is a republican on the inside and a democrat on the outside.  He is a religious man as evidenced by the 19 million he gave to his church.  Unless of course he doesnt believe so much as looking for a tax break.  And if he is a gambling man, which he is, he is hedging his bets, just in case, he can remind those pesky pearly gate keepers, with a copy of his tax return.

If you were to ask Mitt what publications he reads he would say, 'how to make money and influence people', 'rich dad poor dad', 'the best way to rob a bank is to own one', 'Financial America'.  He would say that he does the crossword puzzle on the WSJ, 'just yesterday I couldnt figure out 27 across, then it came to me, 1000 million'.

He is puzzling to most, the crossword puzzle in 'Republican People', number four down, next president of the United States of American, and he writes Obama, in ink, smears the whole thing, and gets pissed at himself.  Then he picks up the phone and calls the editor to complain about the trick question.

He is about money first, he feels all he has to do is outspend his opponents, muddy the water, and bingo, he is president.  The president sings a tune, he sings a tune, except he cant sing.  He cant dance, its against his religion, and he cant dance.

Now here is where he falls flat on his face.  He doesnt have a family bible, but he is going to get one and highlight all the references to money. He took on the Olympics but he has never done anything even remotely athletic.  You wont see him at a football game, or a basketball game, he wont even go to a volleyball game.  His idea of fun is the tax code.
Most people dont know he has a tattoo, it reads; 'The All Mighty Dollar'.

But he does want to be president, he wants to be president because he thinks it is fun.  He doesnt want to be commander in chief, but he thinks it would be an easy job, something he could task, like... to Newt.

Ask him about his choice for Vice President, for Chief of Staff, for Treasury.  Ask him about his choice for the CIA, the FBI.  Ask him if he would sit down with Katie Curic for an hour.  Ask him if he owns a nerf football.  Go ahead ask him.  I dare you.

Mitt you're a breed, half democrat, half republican...you see yourself coming out of the mist, Hail to the Chief in the background, landing on a carrier, screaming, 'mission accomplished'.

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