Poor Lance Armstrong, you know....the bike rider. What do you know he turns out to be cheater, dishonest, a disappointment, a doper, drug smuggler, unethical SOB. Not to be trusted. I have always trusted Lance, come on ..... he is the worlds best biking machine. If it were not for him the personification of LeTour de France most Americans would not even care.
Lets face it, it is un american for a citizen of this great country to make bicycling his life long achievement. But little Lance had no friends and no parents, he was constantly being bullied ..... so he began to ride a bike solo. It wasnt long when another bicycling enthusiast and fellow Looser, would come out of the social jungle and be embraced by Lance. Soon there was a whole platoon of these super human bicycles. Then one day somebody took out a watch and timed him, low and behold he was faster than a speeding bullet! Im positive this would make a great animated game.
Even Time magazine bought some of the action. They had his superhuman persona dissected for the rest of us so we could begin to understand the incomprehensible.
He had large lungs, his breath..... he could take in twice as much air as the rest of us. He was a freak. This mammalian could stay under water for an hour without a tank.
His Heart, that organ that pumps the blood, was a giant heart, it could pump twice as much blood as the rest of us mere humans. His heart rate at 40 beats per hour could pump twice as much blood. So you see .... he was born to cycle! Not only that, he was born to cycle faster and further than all the other humans, especially the french.
So he won, they gave him a yellow jersey, lots of money ..... and the women just followed the money. No way he was going to stop now. This Looser, freak, cycling, sportsman was getting laid. The Paparazzi followed him everywhere, the sports illustrated bikini models were happy .... he could bring them to a climax in one breath. His virility was sexsational and all those models publicly articulated the incomprehensible.
Lance knew that if he lost..... it was over. So he ate super-foods took super-vitamins and why not ..... erythropoietin, hell why not steroids. Winning the Tour de France was subordinate to screwing the swimsuit models.
Beta-error is a statistical concept. Lets say that you make tires and the tires last for 50K miles. Obviously, not every single tire, some fell apart at 30K, some at 60K, but on average, 50K miles. So one day a guy walks in and says I have invented this new formula that will extend the life of the tire to 60K miles. So how do you determine if the tire was going to last 60K or the formula worked. This is beta-error.
Put another way, lets say you were making babies and they had an IQ of 130. Along came a women and said, I can increase the IQ of your babies by 30%. So you bang out a few kids and low and behold they have an IQ of 170. How do you know if it is your kid or somebody else's. Beta-error.
The fact is that Lance had all the best equipment, not only literally but he had the best physiology on the planet. Born to cycle. We dont know if he would have won without the steroids, the erythropoietin. And the swimsuit models would be partisan.
What we do know is that man is born to cheat .... the path of least resistance. It is genetically programmed, we cant help it. Try this experiment, forget your wallet in the restroom and put a few bucks in it. What you will discover is that people will not return your wallet but 15% of the time.
It is that 15% of people that begrudge Lance the fact that he laid all those swim suit models. And the winner is Lance.....born to cycle.
Lets take him outside and beat the shit out of him!
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